An Old Friend Becomes A New Friend

"The best mirror is an old friend."- George Herbert

My awkward stage had to have been between the ages of twelve and fourteen. I had gained a huge amount of weight and hit puberty. At 15, I lost the weight and along with it, gained some self esteem. But at 13 I just wanted the Earth to swallow me whole.


Jackie was the new girl in school. She was quiet. I thought she was so pretty. She ended up hanging with my small group of friends. We were friends, maybe not BFF's but friends just the same. Jackie was an artist. At the age of 14 she painted a mural for a local restaurant. She was amazingly talented, and did I say pretty? Very pretty.


We ended up going to the same high school. We even took art class together. I remember her hands being constantly covered in remnants of paint. Besides the murals she painted, she could paint realistic portraits. I never shared the art I created. I was intimated by her talent and never believed I had any. Looking at all the art she created inspired me even though I did mine secretly. I now know better. What I created was just different than what she did. And that's OK. It was just not OK to me as a teenager. It didn't fit what I believed an artist to be. She was an artist and an avid reader. We had alot in common but somehow our friendship fizzled. It's not like we had a fight or even a disagreement. During our junior and senior years, even though we still talked, we didn't hang together that much. I thought she was interested in me being her friend.


Cut to March of 2009, Jackie finds me on classmates.com. She now lives in California, is married and has two kids. One boy 18 and one girl who is 2 4.We begin to email each other every other day. We are not only learning about each others lives but also digging way deep...in ways that are so much easier when it's not face to face. What is so different now in comparison to then, is that we are both more open and honest about ourselves. Who we are now and even who we were then. We expose all to each other, the good, the bad, and the uglies. Raw honesty.


I've learned alot about her and even about myself back then. With my low self esteem, I always figured that she didn't want to hang anymore. The fact is that she was painfully shy and had the same issues herself. Wow, and I thought she had everything going for her. Goes to show how wrong our perception of others can be.


We now have tons in common and have been showing off our art, sharing recipes, and just enjoying getting to know each other in a whole new light. We both agree, we have rekindled our friendship at the perfect time. We can laugh about turning 50 soon and complain about our bodies.


Jackie is coming in June for her nephew's graduation. We can't wait to get together.


Now I have a laundry list of to-do's before then. Is there a way I could diet away 25 pounds in a month without sweating or giving up chocolate? Get rid of my wrinkles without spending tons of $$$. Is there a miracle cream that works to some degree? My grays can be easily taken care of. No worries there. Now to find a cute outfit that makes me look thin...OK thinner. I basically want to look like I did at 35. But I'll settle for a kick ass 49.


I plan on looking fanfuckingtastic.