Each day seems to get harder. The money gets tighter and we get more stressed.
Yesterday I said some things to David that later I regretted. After I had a mini freak out and I vomited out words I shouldn't have said, I realized it's not just about me.
Even though he is the quiet, laid back one in our relationship, I didn't take the time to see how all this affects him. I am such a bitch some times that I even disgust myself. Last night I was so ashamed at myself, I couldn't apologize enough. David? Well as usual he took it stride and told it was okay and not to worry about it.
This is a man who has always worked and made sure we were taken care of. He has dinner for me when I get home or will make it once i get here. I go to work and my mind has the chance to NOT think about our situation for at least 8 hours. But for him that's all he thinks about. He is holding it together in his way and since it's not MY way....I don't see it and obviously don't acknowledge it. I feel terrible. I really need to take his feelings at this time into consideration...I'm not the one at home going nuts, worried about my job and my lack of a paycheck. I am not the one feeling like I am not contributing to our household.
If it was me, you know about it cause I would let everyone know how I felt..I would be crying and feeling sorry for myself. But David is not me and he just is quiet and trying to help in other ways around the house, as he waits for his boss to tell him there is work.
I need to learn how to be quiet sometimes
Yesterday I said some things to David that later I regretted. After I had a mini freak out and I vomited out words I shouldn't have said, I realized it's not just about me.
Even though he is the quiet, laid back one in our relationship, I didn't take the time to see how all this affects him. I am such a bitch some times that I even disgust myself. Last night I was so ashamed at myself, I couldn't apologize enough. David? Well as usual he took it stride and told it was okay and not to worry about it.
This is a man who has always worked and made sure we were taken care of. He has dinner for me when I get home or will make it once i get here. I go to work and my mind has the chance to NOT think about our situation for at least 8 hours. But for him that's all he thinks about. He is holding it together in his way and since it's not MY way....I don't see it and obviously don't acknowledge it. I feel terrible. I really need to take his feelings at this time into consideration...I'm not the one at home going nuts, worried about my job and my lack of a paycheck. I am not the one feeling like I am not contributing to our household.
If it was me, you know about it cause I would let everyone know how I felt..I would be crying and feeling sorry for myself. But David is not me and he just is quiet and trying to help in other ways around the house, as he waits for his boss to tell him there is work.
I need to learn how to be quiet sometimes
1 comment:
I think David needs a hug...
Post a Comment