Tony was born always in a hurry for...everything. He is the one with the biggest zest for life out of all of us. He is my original whirlwind. Constant motion, talking fast to make sure he would get everything in before he could be interrupted, in your face, and the center of attention.
When David taught him to play guitar.. that was IT. He was playing it ALL the time. After awhile it got on my nerves. He would be talking to you while playing..even slept with it a few times. As he grew, I would tell him to stop playing for a minute so I could___________(whatever). He would put the guitar down and say to me.." Mom when VH1 does a Behind the Music on me, I'm going to say how my mom would always tell me to stop playing my guitar" or " I guess you don't want me to buy you a mansion when I grow up"
Dreams.....
The past few months I have watched my son become anxious and uncertain. He was quiet and distant. He had planned on moving to Denver but he was still uncertain. He was having problems with Laura, Worried about money..worried bout Laura..worried about leaving his job....worried about Laura. I wanted to fix it. But I couldn't. It was all on him.
He made his decision.... He is leaving...November Laura is still behing him. His boss is 100% behind him and even thinking of ways for him to work for them in Denver. Laura and her mom are throwing a benefit for Tony so he doesn't worry about money. Anjelika moved in on Sept 1 to help with rent. Mom and Dad are always there.
Because deep inside, he knows he will never be happy or make anyone else happy unless he persues his passion.
At work today someone died on me. One minute we were talking... next minute he was down.
I work in healthcare and although this may happen to alot of others in this field, its has never gotten to this point for me. Close..... but no. Thankfully we revived him and he is stable.
David said I should be proud of what we did. I am. But I also can't shake the thought of how fast one's life can end.
I thought of God today.
I am grateful for what I have. I need to enjoy my life and not just live it. I need to stop ignoring my own needs. I need to let my friends know how much they mean to me. I want to make sure my family knows how much I love and support them not only by my words, but by my actions.
Because, it can all be gone...in just a blink of an eye.
I found this book and thought it might help me with all the ideas I have swirling in my head for my new journal. You can read the reviews at Amazon I find funny is that this is SO not my type of book, yet it called me as I was browsing at Borders. It a whole Mind, Body, Soul book..it should help me get better insight into what makes me..me.
We all have that little voice in our heads that steer us in a direction. Call it womens intuition, sixth sense, God..whatever...I've finally learned to give into it and make no apologies for it. When I saw the book, something told me to grab it and without really looking inside, I bought it. I'm glad I did. I'm taking my time with this.
As I start this new journey of self discovery and wondering where I am going, I'm once again shown a new path. One I wasn't looking for and not even considering.
Damien called me and asked me if I had any art I was interested in selling. Nope don't have anything but hmmmm selling?? I started asking a gazillion questions...Of course my dear son was too vague for mama's liking. his quick answer..talk to Sean. Sean came over Wednesday and told me that there is this new shop that opened in July in Lakeview/Lincoln Park area. His friend is looking for local artists that are interested in selling their artwork. Sean thought of me. Its Eclectic...its vintage with a mix of funky and artist wares.
Found the perfect journal for my Countdown to 50 journal
Appropriately titled: 50 things to Know about Me that: A) you never knew B) never thought of asking C) Never gave a rat's ass.
My birthday was wonderful and I couldn't ask for a better day. Well actually we celebrated my birthday today since I was the only one with the day off Tuesday....David made sure anything I needed I got since my present was our trip to Michigan. Tony and Laura gave me a set of White Jasmine lotions and bath gels that have the best CLEAN smell. Not flowerery, which I hate but this aroma of ...I don't know..clean comes to mind. I'm in love with it. He also got me these gret stickers for my journals and a gorgeous Blue pen..perfect for my new journal. he knows I'm so ridiculously picky about the pens I use. Damien and Emilie brought and cooked all the food for the BBQ. Desi was his cute self and Anjelika and Kirby ordered my "surprise" that didn't get here on time. But who cares my whole family celebrated and I was happy and very very full.
3. The last flowers to hang in there..fighting the new season.
5. And always brightens up my day...
