A Mothers View on Mother-Daughter Relationships

After 9 glorious hours of sleep, I grab my coffee and head on over to blogher. As I bounce from post to post I come across one about the mother daughter relationship and it's complications. And as I read more, I come across our view as we get older and we become the care givers.

Which makes me think of how my view of my own mother changed with my mom and dad's divorce during my late teens and then when I became the caregiver and her heart started failing.

But that isn't what this post is about.

Where is the view from a mother's perspective on this subject? I can't seem to find it.

Does it go against good parenting to voice how WE feel about this complicated relationship?

Will I be viewed as a bad mom or am I really the only one that feels this way? (Which is actually my biggest fear.)

Out of the 3 kids, she is the one who sucks the life out of me. It's exhausting. But I'm there.

Why? Cause I'm the mom, I love her, and that is what I'm suppose to do. Do I want to? Not really, not always. I find myself comparing our relationship to mine and my mothers. It's different because, I made sure of it. I wanted the open and honest relationship that I didn't have. So I made my bed and I'm laying in it.

Anjelika will be 22 in less than 2 months. She is the youngest of 3 and the only girl. The boys were a piece of cake in comparison. She is very different than me...not that I wanted a mini me. She has traits that I wish I had and I'm proud she is outspoken and opinionated, not worrying on how she is viewed by others. But I am mom and I don't really want all her outspoken and opinionated views. She is open with me to the point of me cringing at times. She is honest to the point where I've learned through her, that little white lies are definitely so much better than the hard core truth. Filter..PLEASE!!!

So as I read about all the complaints daughters have about their mothers. Here I have some of MY complaints through the years about my daughter.

1. If you know I think he's a douche,why do you feel the need to: talk, complain, or bring him into this house.

2. If you know my opinion on a subject and it differs from your view, don't get pissed. Why even bring it up? It's an OPINION. MINE!

3. If you know that the outfit you are wearing makes me think of a hooker in the red light district, don't show me or ask me "How do I look". You know you won't leave the house looking like that.

4. If you know that your bedroom looks like a wrecking ball just hit it, don't tell me you can't find___. You know what I'll say.

5. If you know that I've carved out some me time in my art studio, it's not the time to hear about your problems with your roommate. I can care less right now or any other time for that matter.

6. If you ask me for my advise and don't agree and voice that you knew I'd say that...then don't ask me in the first place.

7. If you start a conversation with me by saying.."this may sound stupid to you" you are right...it is.

8. If you see me reading a book, do not cover the pages with your hand to get my attention. You are 20 not 2 and it's not cute anymore...that just pisses me off.

9. If you know that me and your dad haven't had a vacation sans kids in all our years together and we finally plan one...don't invite yourself along cause you need to get away for awhile.

10. If you know that me and you dad are now alone in the house. Don't you think you should call first before coming over?

I'm just saying.

I seriously believed that once they were adults it would be my time, but boy...it NEVER ends.

Now I will gladly accept the crappy mommy award, thank you very much.