The Prom is for Assholes Extravaganza

I was reading Vodkamom's post on her daughter's broken heart and being dumped weeks before prom. It reminded me of Anjleika's prom fiasco and it pissed me off all over again. What the hell goes on in the mind of these teenage boys? Seriously, what possesses them to do this to a girl just before prom? After the dress is bought and arrangements made, not to mention the fact that the girl looks forward to her big night. It's suppose to be magical, her chance to get all dressed up and feel like a princess.

When this happened to my baby girl (she is now 22), I was out for blood. I was fuming. But nothing prepares you for the hurt and sadness you see in your daughters face. I, as usual wanted to fix it. I suggested she go stag (nope), I offered to take her out (nope), then I had a brilliant idea. We would throw our own prom party and call it... TA DA...Prom Is For Assholes. ( Yes, I set a great example). She got a kick out of that and started the party planning. Everyone would be dressed in prom attire. At least she would be able to wear her dress. Her oldest brother offered to be the DJ. Word spread that it was the party to be at. Her best buddy, Kirby was her date, who happened to end up being her boyfriend a couple of years later. I set up a backdrop for "prom" pictures and she made a banner.....

Prom is For Assholes.

There were over 40 people all dressed up and ranging in ages 17-50. There was Jamba Juice for those 21 and over and punch for those under. We had a great time and the party ended in the wee hours of the morning. We had a bunch of kids spend the night and the adults gave rides to those that had to go home.

The best part was seeing just how happy my daughter was and telling her friends that this was better than any damn prom she would have gone to.

To those stupid boys....in my daughter's words....hell with you, I'll throw my own damn party.

Prom Queen

and her date

Her BFF

Damien the DJ

Prom Pics:

Prom is over and the princess sleeps.........

Cutting the cord....5 years too late

There was a time when I couldn't wait till all 3 kids turned 18 and move out of the house. I dreamt that when that day came, I would be doing a naked dance around the house with my ball and chain of how ever many years, and I wouldn't have to be so involved in every aspect of their lives. My life would be my own.

HA! The joke is on me.

The happy naked dance never happened.

I'll admit it, I cried when each left, but I knew we had done a good job raising them. I was proud of them and it was time for them to embark on their own journey. Each took their own path, the oldest got married and started his own family, the youngest is on her own and learning to be independent, and my middle son is following his dream.

This past week has taught me a few things about myself as well as having adult children.

My 23 yr old son's fiance went out to visit him in Denver last week and it wasn't the week either of them had envisioned. The life he is leading there is very different than the one he led here. This life doesn't work very well with a long distance relationship. They broke up.

After hearing third party analysis of what happened, I called my son. It broke my heart to hear his voice. It was torn between staying with the band or coming back home to Laura and the life he had here. Our families are intertwined even before they became a couple, so this has affected us all. My son is hurt and confused. I thought of all kinds of ways for this to work out. He could fly home away from everything that is going on there and get a different perspective. I made plans.

I realize that I take charge of situations and try to fix them. Some people may even call it being a control freak, I prefer the nicer version...a control enthusiast. But there comes a time that you have to step back and accept the fact that you did your job and that from now on you have to just be the observer and bite your tongue. This only happened after I spoke to Laura. After I heard her version of what transpired. It's only then, that I went from the mommy part of me, "my poor baby" to the woman in me, "WTF" to the angry mommy side, " I didn't raise him, to act that way".

Going to Denver, I knew was going to be very different for him. We had talked about it. My concerns and fears for him. I was constantly reminded that we had done a good job and he had a good head on his shoulders. But then I had my second conversation with him and I was angry.
Because the stories I heard was not the son I knew, it was not the man I believed him to be...it was not who I raised.

He has only been gone 4 months. Can that change a man so much? That his wants and needs come first at whatever the cost? Has his head become so big from the adulation and having groupies? Dude, it's not the Rolling Stones, you may be big enough in your corner of the world. But....Seriously???

So this Valentine's Day, I have to accept the fact that I can't fix this. That I have to watch the train wreak from the sidelines. I have to believe that we taught him well and at some point he will realize that how he is behaving is not who he is. I may be disappointed in him at this time but I have to believe that this will pass.

Tony is not 3 anymore and I can't make him do or act as I think he should.
I can not mend their broken hearts nor can I make everything all better.

It is hard to completely let go.
It is hard for me to not tell him what I think he should do.
I want to scold him for behaving the way he is.

I want my baby boy back..... but I've had to cut the cord, even though it's 5 years after I should have..

Random Thoughts....

1. How did I not get callouses on my ass from being glued to the couch for 4 days??

2. How missing a period can still make me say"Oh Fuck!" Though now the worry isn't "am I pregnant?", it's more about questioning, "Does this mean I need to start stocking up on K Y?"

3. Where are my new towels? Was the dyer monster hungier then usual and go for my towels and not the socks?

4. I wish someone else could take down the christmas tree and put the ornaments away.

5. I should have taken January 2 off and spent another 4 days on the couch.

6. Is that a hair growing on my chin???

7. Why does everyone think this a free laundry facility and just assume that I provide the detergent?

8. I should really make some New Years resolutions this year even though that will go by the wayside by February.

9. Who depantsed James , the basement mannequin?

10. I would really have some fun around here if I was the one laid off.

And the one that keeps creeping through my brain, happens when I pass a mirror...

"who the hell is that staring at me? That's not what I look like."

Techno Geek

I finally got it....The Blackberry Storm

I was waiting to upgrade just cause it was coming out and I wanted a Blackberry.

I've been glued to it since it arrived on my doorstep yesterday morning.

And what have I learned???

I'm a MORON!

It's taking me 2 DAMN DAYS to get everything the way I want it AND.....

I keep screwing up.

UGH!!!!

But still...I'm doing the happy dance.

Changes and more assumptions

We are back to this... after how many months???

I never create anything that I actually keep. Everything goes out the door.

But this time it's different.

I was in the process of creating some fatbook pages when my oldest came into my studio cause his dad told him he pissed off mom. Well, it all stems from my post months ago when my son figured I don't have a life. I thought everything was ok and once again we were back to it.

Hurt turns to anger. And my words were "I'm done". Done with worrying, thinking, doing, for everyone else.

So, here I was in the middle of creating a page when he walks in and once he tell me he heard I was mad but didn't know why...I went off. Called him a self centered, elitest brat and that anything that he doesn't consider importatnt isn't. I think shock is a good way to describe the look on his face. But he agreed.. and brought up having a baby. YEAH, that doesn't work with me anymore. I had 3 by his age and neither of our families knew of our struggles and I dealt with whatever came my way. With that we started talking..the whole time I'm working and talking. He looked around and said that he always supported my endeavors. Well.....he is right. He has always encouraged me. But to figure after a long day at work..I have nothing to do????..makes me nuts. He agreed he has been an ass and disrespectful.

I finished the page and kept it..... as a reminder. That my time counts.

Where's the change????

All within the same week....Hubby starts working days ( overnights for past 5 years) and our daughter moves back home in order to afford school.

Have to keep saying..

my time counts
my time counts
my time counts

Ahhhh but maybe it will feel like we are newlyweds... after almost 30 yrs.
Gotta smile

Assumptions

As the saying goes... "Assume makes an ass out of you and me".
Or something like that. Anyways, these past few weeks I've learned there have been some assumptions made about me that are sooo wrong. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got.
It started with Damien (my oldest), wanting me to babysit. It always starts off the same, so I know its coming..."mom, can you watch the baby". Which is usually fine. (To my surprise I love being a grandma!)
" Are you doing anything on ______ ?"
Does doing my artwork or reading constitute doing something? Or even wanting a peaceful night to myself?
I feel like it does yet my guilt says otherwise. Because really I can do that the next night or the night after.
So I asked him if he knew what I did at night when I got home from work and his dad left for work ( David works night). And his answer blew me away..." Nothing, read People, maybe play on the
computer, watch TV.."
Wow...my life in his eyes is pretty boring and lame.

I got pissed.

Do I watch TV? yes..its usually on as background noise when I'm home by myself. I DVR anything I really want to watch and then I only watch that when I go to bed.

Read People? Its my guilty pleasure. I read a lot. Books, art mags, zines... I can get lost in a book.

" Play on the computer?" What is that? I don't play games...I read email, blogs, and most of the time I'm organizing and fixing the gazillion pics we have on our pc.

I guess that in the last two years I wasn't doing much...granted I stopped creating anything.
Is that where the bases of his assumption lies?? But then again HE was the one that first encouraged me..then pushed me to making him a book of all my old Cuban recipes and to "art it up". Which I did.... which led to Tony (middle son) and Anjelika (baby girl) asking for one too but with different covers. I was surprised that they turned out as great as they did. I'll post pics later.
And that finally led to me to creating again.

So after getting pissed, being hurt, and obsessing about it. I told him...I'm in my art studio every night..after I get home from work and pick up, get the coffee ready for David, read my emails and after David leaves...I play, organize and reorganize. Or I sit and look around at all my STUFF, till inspiration hits. And it usually does...so if it gets too late I jot it down in my sketchbook that I started. I also have now a journal I call my wish book. It keeps the stuff I want to buy...art supplies, mags, and books...all having to do with art.
And also my art journal... the keeper of all things related to me..... thoughts, things that inspire me, hopes, dreams......

So I am a busy girl....just no one sees it